I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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