Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
