You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
