she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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