I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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