She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
