i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
