she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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