I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
