I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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