There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
