just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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