just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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