Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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