He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Randomize