so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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