He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
