no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Who put my cat in the fridge?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
