What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize