at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
