you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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