sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
