I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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