She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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