i jhust puked up my retainher.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
