I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
