so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
