How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize