HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
