I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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