spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
