i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
