Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
