Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
