I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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