ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
