I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We need to get me chipped asap
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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