I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
