Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm passing your future prison.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
FUCK WHALES
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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