god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
