i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize