guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
