he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
