Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
