The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
