at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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