I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
