i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
