Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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