then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
