white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
