I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
