Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize