DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
