so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
