I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
