I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize