There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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