oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
