I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
