Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
