Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
