I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
