What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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