Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
