my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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