This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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