Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
