u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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