HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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