it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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