Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
