Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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