Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize