he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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