She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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