Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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