your parents love me but you hate me
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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