I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
What a dumb baby whore.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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