Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
