I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
