K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
